I had to lay down last night, I had no choice. At 2:00 am Shari jostled me out of a restless sleep to ask if I was going to start T-day dinner. I told her to leave me alone. She wouldn’t. she wanted to know if dinner was going to be done on time.
At this point I wanted to kill her. I knew how the day was going to turn out before I even started. She played Candy Crush. I figured after an hour she would tire herself out so I didn’t say anything.
4:00am rolls around and she said the words I hate most, “Are you going to get up”? I hate these words with a passion. It means, “I want something and I want it now. You can knock me unconscious and I will still be asking”.
I told her I would get up in enough time to make her dinner and to leave me the hell alone. She left me alone but kept saying, “Are you going to get up”?
9:30 am I get up. Not to make T-day Dinner but to choke the ever loving piss out of her. I couldn’t catch her. I hollered at her for not leaving me alone. And what did she say? “Since your up, are you going to make dinner”?
I prepare the Turkey and get it in the oven. She immediately wants me to make Fruit Cocktail with whipped cream, stuffing and Cherry Pie. I don’t know what I had in my hand, but I threw it at her and told her to “LEAVE ME ALONE”.
I get everything prepped, knew the Turkey was going to be a few hours, and started to lay back down. Before my weary head hit the pillow, I Heard, “You going to get up”? I don’t know if she said it or it was an echo from all night of nagging.
I got up when the Turkey was done and put it on the stove cool. Immediately she said, “We need gravy”? Do I need to do everything? I went to the bathroom to pee but instead grabbed my camera and walked back in the kitchen.
I knew it! She ripped the leg off, took a couple bites and put it back!
Like I wouldn’t know a chunk was taken out of a turkey? I said screw it and told her to eat it.
Every time I got something done, she made a plate.
I hollered at her and explained that K.T. and family was coming to get some.
She rolled her eyes at me and kept eating.
This is when I noticed the other Turkey leg missing, SHE ATE THAT TO!
I managed to divide up the meal and get K.T.’s and family meal ready. Shari ate until they came and got there stuff.
She then made a plate for her and me, and ate and ate and ate.
She asked for Cherry pie and I told her to wait. She passed out on the bed, looking like a rotting carcass of a beached whale.
I went out to get some turkey and SHE PICKED IT CLEAN! Thats why I took this picture. I was wondering if she would eat the bones in her sleep.
She slept for half an hour, got up and asked for “Cherry Pie”. I made Cherry pie to shut her up. Now something weird happened. I told her earlier to give a bowl of whipped cream to K.T. and she said, “No”.
I figured she only had a bowl left. I was wrong. she has 6 bowls! I got a slice of pie and a smidgen of whipped cream. She ate the rest the pie and all the whipped cream that was left.
She hasn’t pooped yet and is looking for more stuff to eat. I can’t believe this.
Everything is gone! Gone gone gone!
I made her a drink instead, with sleeping pills, I can’t take it anymore.