Mike's and Shari's dirt

Our Dirt, Our Way

T-Day horror

20161124_120911I had to lay down last night, I had no choice. At 2:00 am Shari jostled me out of a restless sleep to ask if I was going to start T-day dinner. I told her to leave me alone. She wouldn’t. she wanted to know if dinner was going to be done on time.

At this point I wanted to kill her. I knew how the day was going to turn out before I even started. She played Candy Crush. I figured after an hour she would tire herself out so I didn’t say anything.

4:00am rolls around and she said the words I hate most, “Are you going to get up”? I hate these words with a passion. It means, “I want something and I want it now. You can knock me unconscious and I will still be asking”.

I told her I would get up in enough time to make her dinner and to leave me the hell alone. She left me alone but kept saying, “Are you going to get up”?

20161124_1233209:30 am I get up. Not to make T-day Dinner but to choke the ever loving piss out of her. I couldn’t catch her. I hollered at her for not leaving me alone. And what did she say? “Since your up, are you going to make dinner”?

I prepare the Turkey and get it in the oven. She immediately wants me to make Fruit Cocktail with whipped cream, stuffing and Cherry Pie. I don’t know what I had in my hand, but I threw it at her and told her to “LEAVE ME ALONE”.

I get everything prepped, knew the Turkey was going to be a few hours, and started to lay back down. Before my weary head hit the pillow, I Heard, “You going to get up”? I don’t know if she said it or it was an echo from all night of nagging.

20161124_123337I got up when the Turkey was done and put it on the stove cool. Immediately she said, “We need gravy”? Do I need to do everything? I went to the bathroom to pee but instead grabbed my camera and walked back in the kitchen.

I knew it! She ripped the leg off, took a couple bites and put it back!

Like I wouldn’t know a chunk was taken out of a turkey? I said screw it and told her to eat it.

20161124_123420Every time I got something done, she made a plate.

I hollered at her and explained that K.T. and family was coming to get some.

She rolled her eyes at me and kept eating.

This is when I noticed the other Turkey leg missing, SHE ATE THAT TO!

I managed to divide up the meal and get K.T.’s and family meal ready. Shari ate until they came and got there stuff.

She then made a plate for her and me, and ate and ate and ate.

20161124_150035She asked for Cherry pie and I told her to wait. She passed out on the bed, looking like a rotting carcass of a beached whale.

I went out to get some turkey and SHE PICKED IT CLEAN! Thats why I took this picture. I was wondering if she would eat the bones in her sleep.

She slept for half an hour, got up and asked for “Cherry Pie”. I made Cherry pie to shut her up. Now something weird happened. I told her earlier to give a bowl of whipped cream to K.T. and she said, “No”.

20161124_201001I figured she only had a bowl left. I was wrong. she has 6 bowls! I got a slice of pie and a smidgen of whipped cream. She ate the rest the pie and all the whipped cream that was left.

She hasn’t pooped yet and is looking for more stuff to eat. I can’t believe this.

Everything is gone! Gone gone gone!

I made her a drink instead, with sleeping pills, I can’t take it anymore.

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