Mike's and Shari's dirt

Our Dirt, Our Way

Thanksgiving and Sharisms

20161123_041849Thanksgiving is tomorrow. We almost didn’t have a Turkey but our friend, Kim, bought us one. Walmart was busy and people were cutting in and out. I was apologising to the ladies I almost ran over with our kart. At one point I hollered out, “Damn it”!
This nice Lady asked what was wrong, so I told her.
“I’ve been apologising to my wife all day and now I am apologising to every woman in the store”!

The internet was especially fun tonight. Everybody is giving their take on the first Thanksgiving and some were being downright mean. It’s Thanksgiving, be happy you weren’t alive back then.

20161123_041855So now it’s 3:00am in the morning and I am prepping the turkey. Yes, I do the cooking. Every Thanksgiving Shari watches me cook or watches T.V. She then eats a big meal, poops, then falls asleep in bed.

Tonight she came out with her eyes barely open and says, “Why do they cut the neck off, yank all of its guts out, then jams everything up its ass and we cook and eat it?

“BECAUSE THANKSGIVING IS TRAUMATIZING”!

Think about it. A couple days before Thanksgiving liquor sales go up and it gets hard to find Marijuana. Why? Because pot and liquor is a coping mechanism when you have to be around family all day long.

20161123_041901It’s not that Family is bad. It’s because you’re not use to dealing with everyone’s crap all year. Ive seen it happen. Someone says the wrong thing at the wrong time and the fights on. I’ve never had a Turkey leg jammed up my crack but my family has tried.

Then when the fight is broken up people take sides. Someone is going to say something and the Thanksgiving dinner is going to be all over the floor again.

I’m no coward but when someone says, “That did it”, I am out of there.

The fighting stops when they show the kick off and everyone goes to sleep. Well, there is half time. I have no clue why they call that “intermission”.

20161123_042010I was eating at a friends house when a guy walked into the kitchen and said, “I see you ate a lot. Wow! I can’t believe you were able to make your ass fatter”‘. I prayed that was Cherry pie filling on the floor along with dinner, plates, glass and the chair leg.

There were flashy red lights in front of his house but the game started again, he was on his own.

Me? I don’t care if you fight, I don’t care how you think the first thanksgiving went, I don’t even care what you do for Thanksgiving.

Shari gives thanks for she found someone who loves and protects her.

15204106_1787895071449398_583397030_oI give thanks that Shari hasn’t killed me yet and does things that make great stories.

We are thankful to have friends and that we are alive. We have a roof over our head and food in our bellies.

We are thankful we can garden and found a seed company that we worship.

We are thankful a friend bought us a Turkey so we could have one on Thanksgiving.

I don’t care what anyone else does, we reflect on things we are thankful for.

And for Christmas? We are going to thank God that Jesus isn’t our child or we had to raise him.

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