Yeah, this post is about me and how everyone discriminates. See, I’m a Diabetic. Everything in a store isn’t for someone with Diabetes. When I walk past a Bakery I have to run to the bathroom and smell old mens farts to get the smell out of my nose. See, Bakeries set off cravings.
If I find food I can eat, it is either bland and tasteless or tastes like rat droppings. I don’t mind it that much but it costs 5 times as much as the sweet delicacies without the sugars.
And Dear Lord! Waiting at the checkout is terrible! Small packages of Chocolates, sweets, chips, slim jims, etc. Doesn’t it say something in the Bible about not tempting diabetics?
I can’t walk into a restaurant and demand a Diabetic meal. If I say they are discriminating, they will give me a glass of water and a sprig of Broccoli.
If I have to pee and the store doesn’t have a public bathroom, tough! I have to go outside behind a dumpster. This of course could get me arrested. WHY? You made me go outside, it should be OK to stand on the roof of your truck.
And Holidays are the worse, especially Christmas. All the pies, fudge, Chocolate, etc. I can’t eat it so people say, “That’s so sad, this is the best I have ever eaten”!
Last year we had Carolers. they were singing “We wish you a Merry Christmas”. When they got to the part about “Bring us some figgy pudding”, I got mad and ran them off with a hose.
And who’s the Arsehole that keeps giving my wife Chocolate? I’m trying to sleep and I Hear her taking the wrapper off of each piece and chewing it all night long. Then she wonders why I push her head under the covers when I fart.
No, This year I am going to a friends to eat and I will gorge myself. When I wake up in the hospital, coming out of Diabetic coma, I’m going to say, “Your food almost killed me. I Hope your happy”.
At least Baker Creek Loves me, they only give me stuff that produces healthy, tasting vegetables.
Merry Christmas, you bastards.